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I am fine. THANKS for asking. So i figured it's
probably best not to text you again. Haven't heard from you so figured you
can't now since you're back with Kristin. So thought well i will try here
and hope it doesn't cause you any grief. So i hope you are ok now.
Well didn't mean to cry to you on the phone
again the other day. I can't help it. You get so aggravated with me when
i do. I don't know why.
I understand that you're not done there. I just
don't see why you think that one time with me and its awkward means theres
no hope. We have been thru more hard times then you and Kristin have. And
you two only been together 3 months. I didn't expect it to be the same. I
also didn't expect you to be calling her. Yeah that did hurt...but you know
what can I do? Still i felt for you when you cryed. And i would have done
anything to make you feel better.
All i want to say is that i know it takes time.
A few times or more to be around someone and feel no tension. Alot with me
was I wasnt being myself cause i knew i hurt you and I had it on my mind
so i was quiet and i wanted to hold you closer to me but didn't want you
to pull away or think I wanted sex. I also thought it was nice not saying
anything and just laying there. No words. And i thought you weren't feeling
Anyway beside all that. All I have ever wanted
since we been aprt is a chance to date you. Just once in a while even. I
have never had a chance without Kristin there. Or talking about her or whoever
i am talking to. I want a real date where we talk about our lives and just
start over. might be little different but all those other things will come
back when we are more comfortable with each other and they are things about
us that we cant change so i know they are there. So i do think we can rekindle.
But we both have to have our minds on it.
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Here is what I think or feel that you are feeling right
now. Right or wrong so be it. Just letting you know what i think about when
i am missing you. Loving you.
Ok here is Kristin..She came at a good time.
When you had been hurt so much that you felt you couldn't go on. You didn't
plan it but you couldn't turn it away. When someone was there who wanted
you. Looked out for you. Held you. Had not hurt you.
So you take it. Hold onto it and fall in love.
Maybe not IN love. But it feels good and you do care and have strong feeling
for her. You can't turn someone away you love and need. Who has done nothing
to hurt you like you have been hurt in the past so may time. She makes you
laugh. The kids laugh. Makes the kids happy and when you're with her you
forget and you're happy.
And here is me. The girl you loved so much.
Did everything for but she has hurt you. May times over and you don't understand
why or how she could do it. So it is hard for you to believe she really loves
you or be able to trust her again. You say you don't need her. That she can
walk out and you don't feel the need to say" wait, please don't go. I need
you here. I love you" cause so much hurt has happened that that feeling is
no longer there. Even though only a month ago you begged her. But she didn't
come running. But how has that changed that feeling inside of you? Yeah made
you think she didn't love you. But how could it change everything in your
heart for her.
So there is her. And here is me. There is no
way I could win your heart. Nope..Doesnt look good for me.. You already think
you know me. You been with me years and you still hurt and also you know
i am here. Waiting on you.
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